The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Tag: Toronto

What’s Yo’ Beef #43

by Rachel

It’s beef day y’all!

Rachel

This guys, this is my beef. When the muffin cups stick to the muffin, are hard to get off and tear your muffin apart!

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Shannon

Well guys, today I’m moving! So while I love going through stuff and arriving at a new destination and having to buy new stuff, packing, unpacking, and cleaning all suck. They suck!

What’s Yo Beef #41

by Shannon

Shannon

So last Sunday I went to the Jays game to get a bobblehead for Rachel. There was a decent line, and I was in it for about 40 minutes. I could deal with that; I knew it wasn’t going to be a picnic going in. (Though in hindsight, I should have brought snacks, and definitely made it a picnic.)

Here’s where my beef comes in. Once we started moving, all these people just melded to the line and started cutting in all over the place! What the dude?! There was a line for a reason, buttmunchers. People who can’t obey society’s innate laws and have no social conscience in respect to lines. COME ON!

Rachel
That is frustrating Shannon… If you can’t do a simple societal task as properly join a line, just stay home. But the question burning in all of our minds I’m sure, did you get the bobblehead?!?!?

My beef today, specifically, is that I finally mustered up the ambition to hem some skirts and dresses, but damned if I can find my straight pins! Generally, I am constantly moving shit around and ALWAYS forgetting where I put it. Its really, really, really… really annoying. COME ON!

How To: Make Friends On The Streetcar

by Shannon

It’s been a pretty rocking week, so this post is all about finding the silver linings. Specifically, silver linings about people who stink.

Now, I’m super sensitive to stinky people. Not even necessarily bad stinky, but just people who wear a lot of hairspray, or smoke, or whatever. My sense of smell makes up for my lack of fashion sense I guess. Hey-o!

Anyway, I was on the streetcar on my way home, and it was raining, which is problem number one. Everyone smells less good in the rain, on a streetcar.

But worse than that, there was this seriously stinky dude on the streetcar. Not BO, not old-smell, but more like haven’t showered in honestly six years and maybe they’re wearing the same clothes this entire time. Now, this post isn’t about that person’s circumstances, or mental state, or anything like that – I’m not going to get judgy. This is purely about smell.

We all could have been miserable on our way home, but one after another, people just started interacting with each other! And in a good way, which never happens on the TTC!

We were smiling about the situation, opening windows, laughing a bit. Not at the dude, but just about the situation in general.

And you know what? It was nice. It was nice to bond with people over something, and nice that it wasn’t a stalled out streetcar and we were bonding over being pissed off. We were just all in a shitty situation, and making the best of it.

So Toronto, I raise a beer to you. I’m impressed that we were able to pull off being friends, even just for one streetcar home. Way to go, people who stink – you helped make everyone friends!

How To: Have A Great St. Patrick’s Day

by Shannon

With St. Patrick’s Day falling on a Monday this, I did my main celebrating Saturday with Liam and some friends, and man, we had a blast.

I’m a strong believer that St. Patrick’s Day can be totally fun, without having to pay a $15 cover and cram yourself into a room that seems to have more elbows than bartenders and vacant bathrooms, with the former constantly being shoved in your face. Last year, Liam and I did a sweet College Street pub crawl with a friend that worked out awesome – non-Irish bars get ignored during this holiday, so we had great service, and the bartenders were fun to chat with. This year, we went for the same idea.

Once everyone found the place, we all huddled into Duke’s Refresher, which is a relatively new bar on Gerrard at Yonge. It has a great beer selection, the food was killer (as was my beer milkshake. What!?), and the band kept playing Beatles songs once they realized we loved them. We sat around, played Truth or Dare, ordered multiple Moosehead‘s, and the band even dedicated a song to me.

From there, we booted over to Jack Astor’s for some Woodchuck Ciders, then over to Beer Academy to wrap up the evening. By the time my facepaint was wearing off and Liam and I had demolished the Chinese food we brought home to devour during House of Cards, I was tapped, but I’d had one awesome St. Patrick’s Day.

In honour of my awesome day, I’ve put together a small list of rules that should help you have a wonderful holiday without being stupid.

1. Always make friends with the band and bartenders. They’re so often really cool

2. Ain’t nothing wrong with painting your face. Just ask my mom, who still faithfully does it every year

3. If you have to pay cover at a normally coverless bar, it probably isn’t worth it

4. Eat, eat! You’re skin and bones

5. Green dye will make you feel gross

6. Friends are better than no friends

7. Sing along, clap your hands, laugh loudly. If people can’t hear how much fun you’re having, you’re not having enough fun!

8. At the end of the day, make sure you curl up with a glass of water, a good book that you’re fanatically reading because it expires from the library in two days and you apparently can’t renew e-books, and someone who loves you (even if that someone is just a poster of Keanu Reeves)

What’s Yo’ Beef #27

by Rachel

Rachel

Perma-B.O. The grossest. You put on a shirt fresh from the laundry, put deodorant on a fresh armpit, and an hour later you smell like B.O? Something is not adding up. It’s the buildup of the little bit of B.O. that doesn’t get washed out with each wash. Eventually, a perfectly good shirt otherwise, smells bad about 5 minutes in. And if you are someone who sweats a lot, the new sweat just empowers the stink more. The bad? You stink. The good? Time for new shirts!

Shannon

Speaking of new shirts, my beef today is not knowing where to buy cool shit. I really love shopping most of the time (or, I hate it. It’s one or the other), but when I’m really in the mood, I just don’t know where to go in Toronto! Tell me your cool shopping stores, World!

How To: Feel Like A Million Pounds

by Shannon

Feel incredibly sick all day and subsist on only Premium Plus crackers and water, but force yourself to go to dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory because it’s the last time you’ll see some friends before they pop out another human being.

Have a great time, and of course you’ll have another beer just because everyone else is having one too.

Proceed to feel as insanely huge as your 9 months pregnant friend is. Mission accomplished, fatty.

How To: Realize You Had A Great Night

by Shannon

You wake up in the morning and find a hammer in your bag and think, “It wasn’t a dream.”

However, the part where the radio hosts came up to you and said you had a great voice for radio definitely was, because you asked someone if it happened and they thought you were ridiculous.

What’s Yo’ Beef Friday: #4

by Rachel

Wow, week 4 already of what’s yo’ beef. What’s yo’ beef today?

Rachel 

My beef is super tiny straws. I don’t mean short straws, I mean straws with a small diameter. It ruins the straw drinking experience. COME ON! Give me a super size McDonald’s size straw and I’m happy as a clam.

Shannon

My beef? I’ll tell ya my beef. You finally cave and get a Kobo and read on the streetcar, and really, you’re all like, Why did I wait so long to do this, this is awesome. Only to look up and realize that you’ve missed your stop, because you were waiting to get off at Ossington, but you forgot that in Toronto along the St. Clair streetcar line, the stop is called Oakwood. Why would they do that? Just keep the street names organized. Seriously.

Got a beef? Go on, leave us a comment. Get it off your chest, and into the interweb.

What’s Yo’ Beef Friday #1

by Shannon

Hey friends. You might have noticed that this is the first post to shake off the “How To” theme. And well, that’s because ain’t nobody gotta tell you how to share yo’ beef.

What’s Yo’ Beef came about one morning after Rachel and her husband came up to stay. When Liam, my husband, gets super hungover, he somehow goes into robo-hilarity mode and is manic and silly and annoying to everyone else with headaches and puke vibes. However, it’s really funny. Anyway, that morning we were all complainy except for him, so he kept asking us all what our beefs were, and we all had to share them whenever he pointed at us. It was more fun than it should have been. So, in light of this great moment in history, we introduce you to…

WHAT’S YO’ BEEF FRIDAY.

Shannon:

My beef, is when you’re trying to buy a house in downtown Toronto, and you want it really big, and really nice, and lots of bedrooms, and parking for your friends, and a yard, and a finished basement, and a nice kitchen, and maybe a third floor, and not in Mimico, and other people keep outbidding you and you don’t have a house. COME ON!

Rachel:

When you get a revenue report that isn’t accurate, so you try to simply straighten it out with the boss, and it turns into a day long of emails between multiple administrative people and just becomes entirely more complicated than it should have been in the first place. COME ON!

So, what’s yo’ beef?

 

How To: Have The Best Birthday

by Shannon

Wait 27 years until it aligns perfectly with opening night of Beer Fest. Proceed to spend the entire weekend rocking out in the Moosehead tent, taking your picture with the Hop City Barking Squirrel, and drinking some sweet, sweet brews courtesy of Paulaner, Sam Adams, and Magners Cider.

Add a badass DJ, one sweet jivin’ bluegrass band, and subtract the hangover because you were smart and went back to the office where you had a Hogtown Smoke pulled pork grilled cheese waiting for you and you ate it on the streetcar because it’s your life and you’ll live it the way you want.

 

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