The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Month: November, 2013

What’s Yo’ Beef #16

by Shannon


Guys, I have very little beef today. I mean, it’s just been a wonderful day so far… I asked the Cootie Catcher I made a couple days ago if today was going to be a great day, and it said “100%.” It has not been wrong. I received a free chai latte from Starbucks (medium!), I’m going to lunch at WVRST, and I’m listening to a 90s Best Of playlist. What could be better?

Actually, wait! I do have a beef. I went to pour my Cinnamon Toast Crunch this morning and there was no milk, and I had to pour it back in the box. And that sucked. Cereal when you don’t have milk! COME ON!


I can’t say I have much beef today either… I got a surprise day off. Amazing. We had a hot tub party with friends last night, so relaxing. I felt very organized this week too so there’s not much beef to be had. Although, Shannon’s beef reminds me of something that happened yesterday. When my husband uses milk he either leaves a teeny bit or empties it and doesn’t refill with a new bag. This on its own is annoying because I always end up having to change it. So yesterday I had just enough for the leftover granola I had for breakfast and I said ‘I am not changing that milk bag, husband can learn a lesson’. So I forgot about it and then while making dinner last night I needed some damn milk and ended up having to change it anyways! COME ON! So the lesson is, don’t be petty because it will bite you in the butt later. Or, just make absolute sure you don’t need the milk again before your husband does.

How To: Remind Yourself of George Costanza

by Rachel

Order 2 velvet dresses online because you are secretly obsessed with velvet at the moment. It takes me back to my figure skating days, only I can wear it in public! Because how many times I have wanted to put on my old skating dress is… uncountable.

Just call me Velvet Fog.

I would drape myself in velvet if it were socially acceptable – George Costanza

How To: Make Your Day Infinitely Better

by Shannon

Dude, chocolate chip cookies.

Plus, I found a Twoonie under my desk today!

How To: Learn An Etsy Lesson

by Rachel

I recently ordered a belt buckle from Etsy. Its vintage and would look totally awesome if it were about twice as big as what I thought I was getting. Those photographers sure can mislead you with photos, just like looking at a house to buy online is sooooo much smaller in real life. So, be sure to read the dimension of an item before buying it, even if you think it’s not necessary.

Its teeny tiny.

Size Does Matter

How To: Be Inspired To Live A Better Life

by Shannon

I saw the Hunger Games sequel Sunday night. It rocked my world.

The film itself was pretty sweet, and the popcorn, dare I say it, even better. I totally dig Jennifer Lawrence, and Peeta, God, just… Peeta. Am I right?

But man, that film… after it ended, I went on a 10 minute rant and every emotion that is humanly possible to experience just ricocheted around my insides, over and over.

I need to be a better person. There are places in the world that are actually like District 11, you know? And what do I do for them? Do I start a revolution? And Peeta. Man. I love my husband and all (especially since he’s sitting riiight beside me as I write this), but I want a love the way Peeta loves Katniss, you know?! Like, an uncontrollable life or death love! Would I be willing to give up my life for someone? I’d like to say yes, but I’m probably too much of a baby. And Joanna Mason. She doesn’t even like Katniss, but she goes through everything for the bigger picture! I need to travel more! I need to see things! I need to play less Super Mario World! Where is my contribution to humanity?! How can I be better?!

These are all my feelings, or least, like, 10% of them. Everything else was sucked out of me the minute I started reading that stupid movie magazine on the subway home and got distracted by their holiday gift list and thought that I really liked that Middle Earth dress in the catalogue and should I ask my parents for it for Christmas because I bet my Dad would totally buy it for me.

How To: Feel a Lot More Organized

by Rachel

I had a minor OCD takeover on Friday, but I feel totally okay about it. My closet just hasn’t been right… Its a jumble of mismatched hangers; plastic, wire, wooden and all different colours… It was a right mess. So thanks to Dollarama and their incredibly affordable hangers (a 7 pack for $2!) I have organized it in a way I can stand!

My clothes are all on white plastic hangers. Husbands clothes are all on grey plastic hangers. My dresses occupy a separate closet and are living on wooden hangers. Coats are on black and blue hangers. And all is right with the world again. There is so much to be said for colour coding.

How To: Be Incredibly Awesome

by Shannon

It’s Saturday night, and you’re in your kitchen doing Hannah Barbara cartoon impressions because your husband says your hair looks like Pebbles from The Flinstones, right?

He does a terrible Scooby Doo impression, so you ask him to do his Shaggy impression. It obviously is terrible, so he asks you to do yours, and you break out into this:

How To: Realize You Are Stuck In Your Early 20’s

by Shannon

You open the cupboard for a snack, but all you have is alcohol of every kind.

How To: Realize You Are A Sick, Sick Person

by Shannon

You realize that in a weird way, you’re secretly kind of pumped to spend the entire weekend working, because you just really like feeling accomplished and shit.

What’s Yo’ Beef #15

by Rachel

First, a relevant non-beef: my phone finally has Yo’ in its memory. And now, for the beefs.


My beef today is when you buy a super cool dress for $2 at a thrift store, spend a lot of time trying to make it fit you by adding flashy back panels, realize things are going surprisingly well (which NEVER happens with my projects, especially sewing projects) and you are getting real excited that it’s almost finished, only to find that there is a tear in the side. Just another thing to crappily sew up. COME ON!


My beef today is waiting. What’s the point?! I get way too excited to wait for anything. For example, Liam and I are planning a holiday party for mid-December. Mid-December! That’s like, three weeks away! I can’t wait that long. I’ve already been planning the music, beer, food, and my dance moves. Or, at my work, we just drew names for our Secret Santa yesterday. I’m already so excited! And it’s still two weeks away! Waiting. What’s the point, amiright?!

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