The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Category: Being Bad

How To: Tell If You’ve Got Tonsillitis

by Shannon

Oh God, can someone please tell me? Is it tonsillitis? Is it strep? It’s strep, isn’t it.

“Laughter is the best medicine. The second best medicine is medicine.”

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How To: Be a Lazy Cleaner, and Potentially Ruin Your Vacuum

by Rachel

It sounds like those two words don’t belong together: lazy and cleaner, but sometimes, if I see a bobby pin, or a small paperclip, or an elastic, I just vacuum it up instead of picking it up and putting it away.

How To: Feel Like A Real Human Being (Finally)

by Shannon

This summer was the summer of being selfish. I did what I want, when I wanted to, and I did it with ease. Before you condemn me, however, it was selfish in a good way, a healthy way.

I met my now-husband in first year university, and after graduating, I went right into more school, and then an internship, and then a job. I’ve always been responsible in that sense. And it’s really boring.

So this summer, I said eff this shiz and explored. I went to New York with my best friend – multiple times. I went on a road trip to the middle of nowhere, I went to concerts, I didn’t clean my apartment, and I let my hair get really tangly. It felt amazing. And part of me really wishes I could live like that forever.

But my plants kind of started dying this summer. I never did iron that shirt I really like, it’s still sitting in the spare room, waiting for me. I didn’t buy new headphones like I wanted, and I just basically didn’t get a lot done.

This past week, I’ve been a grown-up. I’m cleaning, I’m spending more time working, and I went for a (very, very short) run this morning. And that feels good too.

Finding that balance between being a responsible adult, and someone who does not suck is really hard. And there will still be days when I blow caution to the wind and hop on a plane somewhere, or I just decide to be a huge lazy bum and do dick-all. But hopefully I can balance that with getting my shit done as well. So the better I work at that… you know… the better.

How To: Completely Suck At Blogging

by Shannon

Just stop doing it. It’s that easy!

You know what isn’t easy? Blogging. It’s such a pain in the ass sometimes.

When things are great, I’m sure as hell not interested in wasting time on the internet.

When things are shitty, I’m sure as hell not interested in reading my own whiny stuff, I’d rather just get kind of drunk and spend several hours on Buzzfeed.

Anyways. We’re back, baby. Maybe? Hopefully.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And also makes you forget you have a blog.

How To: Make the Bus Ride a Little More Enjoyable

by Rachel

Bus wiiiiiiiiiiine. You’ll be drunk by the time you get to your destination and all will be bright with the world. Make sure you have a coffee mug or opaque water bottle.

Is there anything sweeter than wine?

How To: Ruin Clothes

by Rachel

I am an inexperienced expert  at this guys. Just take scissors to any piece of clothing in hopes of making it better, and it will probably get worse! Cut your jorts too short, cut off sleeves with too big of arm holes, and take scissors to a chiffon skirt, and I guarantee you, you will never wear that piece of clothing again.

Save your scissors… For crafts and cutting and pasting, because you will probably ruin your clothes.

How To: Avoid Hangovers

by Rachel

OK, it might be fluke, but I think I may have figured out the anti-hangover ritual for a night of drinking. It has worked twice now and here is how it goes:

Before
Take a multi B vitamin just before drinking, along with vitamin C (I recommend Emergen-C drink crystals, because then you get hydration too). A fatty dinner helps too to line your stomach and protect it from acidity.

During
Just drink. You can throw in a glass of two of water, obviously that never hurts. And if the setting is right, sweat it out! I always find dancing helps because a) you drink less and b) I, personally, am a sweaty beast when I dance so I think it helps get rid of some toxins. Its super gross but totally worth it!

After
Eat lots of carrots, bananas, drink coconut water and more emergen-C and water. You’ll be just fine đŸ™‚

Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick and pull yourself together – Elizabeth Taylor

How To: Ruin Your Light Coloured Clothes

by Rachel

Order red wine at a bar. Because you NEVER get jostled and spill shit on yourself at a bar….

image

This might as well be a beef.

How To: Annoy Your Husband, Part 2

by Shannon

When you return from a 4-day work trip, just leave your suitcase out on the floor in the living room for a few days.

Bonus if there are still clothes in it you haven’t put away, and your condo is only 640 square feet!

How To: Pull An All Nighter

by Shannon

Make a weird mistake that’s more just shitty timing than anything, but end up combining an inside joke with one person, with proclaiming just exactly how weird you are in your blog post.

Trust me, you’ll be up all night thinking about what a knob you are.

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