The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Month: June, 2018

How To: Really Test Your Relationship

by Shannon

Stay in a hotel. We guarantee there won’t be a fan in the bathroom, because why would you want a fan in a bathroom when the person you’re staying with is ten feet away and maybe you have to poo, or they have to poo, or someone pukes because they’re hungover or maybe you just don’t want them to hear your amazing shower rendition of Macy Gray’s I Try.

Friend, lover, or grandparent, we guarantee, this will accelerate your relationship by 15 years.

I try to say goodbye and I choke, I try to walk away but I stumble because you left your shoes in the doorway yet again.

Advertisements

How To: Motivate Yourself To Take A Shower

by Shannon

Easy, son.

Just change your kid’s diaper during a video conference with nine other people, and get just a little too cocky, and have him pee all over you.

Life showers us with happiness. Also, sometimes, with urine.

%d bloggers like this: