How To: Take Things To The Next Level

by Shannon

Fake mustaches, man. They work for pretty much everything.

Example: Last night I was set to play a pretty intense game of Diplomacy, which is basically Risk, but with a 100 per cent greater chance of ruining friendships.

Now, the game on its own would already be fun. But you know what made it more fun?

Fake mustaches.

Not only will you look pretty sexy, but you will definitely weed out which of your friends are cool, and which ones refuse to put on a fake mustache. (Which means you should borrow money from them, and then immediately stop being their friend.)

I will say, as a woman, when you put a mustache on, you find out a lot of things about yourself. – Carrie Brownstein

How To: Make Your Day Infinitely Better

by Shannon

Dude, chocolate chip cookies.

Plus, I found a Twoonie under my desk today!

How To: Spend $100 At The Gap

by Shannon

Just redeem those lovely, love Air Miles that you’ve been collecting (gee, thanks Metro and LCBO for your bonus points!) for a $25 Gap gift card.

Proceed to not be able to limit yourself to $25, obvi, and spend about a million dollars there.

How To: Fall In Love With Canada

by Shannon

Just visit the Drake General Store, because it’s the absolute best.

Please buy me everything, including a Hudson’s Bay tee-shirt, an Ontario toque, this blanket, and like, a bunch of random stuff that just looks cool. But not the provinces tee because I already have that, okay?

How To: Owe Money

by Shannon

Pay your boyfriend back because the stuff you sold on Kijiji wasn’t exactly yours.

How To: Make Money

by Shannon

Just sell shit on Kijiji, it’s easy.

 

How To: Be Fiscally Responsible

by Shannon

Decide that no, you won’t go clothes shopping after work, because you are too hungry and would rather eat dinner.

How To: Appear Exceptionally Generous

by Shannon

Purchase a gift card for someone with a collection of money from a group of people.

The salesperson will think you’re a generous, kind-hearted squillionaire. Plus, you’ll get lots of Scene points on your credit card.