The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

How To: Know You’re Killing It At Life

by Shannon

When you make a great joke, the person next to you looks at you and says, “You’re looking around for someone to high-five, aren’t you?”

Yes. Yes I am.

How To: Feel Okay About Being Selfish

by Shannon

I have a lot of thoughts on selfishness. Mostly, I feel that it’s important, and can help you feel good about yourself. It’s not the easiest topic to talk about without sounding like a bit of a dick, but hey, isn’t that what the internet is for?

Ready more about it on Huffington Post, who just published my latest blog on it here.

How To: Start A Revolution

by Shannon

Guys – here’s what you do. You just meet a dude at a bar who has an Idea Blog, and then you just come up with brilliant ideas.

Here’s my latest one, all about a brilliant little idea call a 2 honk horn.

How To: Impress the Hell Out of Me

by Rachel

Carly Rae Jepson did it, friends.

Not with her fashion sense, or her Juno awards or Grammy noms, and certainly not with her lyrics (I’m pretty sure I wrote the chorus to her new song ‘I really like you’ in a love note I wrote in grade 5)… but she did it with this video:

Yes, a third place Canadian Idol winner got TOM FUCKING HANKS to lip sync to her song for her video.

Well done, I say, well done.

I really really really really really really like you

How To: Build A Girl

by Rachel

This is not actually a how to, but kind of a perfect title for our blog style and will be a fanatical raving about this absolutely awesome book by Caitlin Moran.

I am no expert on books, I am not a writer or deep soulful type person who says things like “This book evoked a lot of feelings in me, and I really identified with the main character”… but this book evoked a lot of feelings in me, and in some ways, I kind of did identify with the main character. I don’t read many books where I really feel happiness when something good happens to a character, or a lot of sadness for the crappy situation they are growing up in, but this book does it. I found myself feeling joy for the good things and real empathy for the bad. Not to mention there are thoughts and phrases from the main character that I, myself, have thought or said myself. It always feels good to know how universal your thoughts can be, even if it is just one, or two other people in the world thinking it. And if you too, are a 29 year old woman identifying with a sexually frustrated 14-17 year old girl, well, that’s ok… you’re not alone.

So go buy it. Like, now. NOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

How To Build A Girl by Caitlin Moran.

Growing up is about keeping secrets and pretending everything is fine

How To: Make Friends at the Bar

by Rachel

This will be an ongoing post as we make friends. You see, the past few years we have been making friends in random places; bars, concerts etc, with complete strangers. Its a wonderful thing. But it wasn’t always like this, something has changed in the past few years that has somehow made us more approachable. Here are my theories.

1. Wear weird clothes that make you stand out, like a touque, or tee with a bloody beard on it.

2. Always talk to people who talk to you… Even if you’re weirded out at first, they may end up being the coolest person you know.

3. Pack some confetti is said touque and fanny pack and make it rain when you’re favorite song comes on. If the bouncer sees it on your way in, tell him its candy.

4. Get married. Because when you’re married, you ‘give up’. You’re sole purpose for going out is to have fun with your friends. You aren’t trying to get peoples attention or hook up with guys, and I think that’s attractive to other people.

5. More coming as this friend making adventure continues!

How To: Get Keanu Reeves To Notice You

by Shannon

In Step Two of my conquest to get Keanu Reeves to talk to me (Step One was the song I wrote about him in high school), I recently published an article on Huffington Post. You can click this link to the read the article and contribute to my views here.

Now, the article itself is not exactly about Keanu Reeves, but it does mention him. I’m hoping he Googles himself to the point where he sees this, and asks for my hand in friendship, which I am willing to provide.

(Oh yeah. The actual article is about how exhausting it can be to be inspired to follow your dreams, and how sometimes you just want to sit on the couch, and yo, that is totally okay, and you should not have to feel bad about that, okay?)

I, Keanu, take thee Shannon…

How To: Take Things To The Next Level

by Shannon

Fake mustaches, man. They work for pretty much everything.

Example: Last night I was set to play a pretty intense game of Diplomacy, which is basically Risk, but with a 100 per cent greater chance of ruining friendships.

Now, the game on its own would already be fun. But you know what made it more fun?

Fake mustaches.

Not only will you look pretty sexy, but you will definitely weed out which of your friends are cool, and which ones refuse to put on a fake mustache. (Which means you should borrow money from them, and then immediately stop being their friend.)

I will say, as a woman, when you put a mustache on, you find out a lot of things about yourself. – Carrie Brownstein

How To: Be a Lazy Cleaner, and Potentially Ruin Your Vacuum

by Rachel

It sounds like those two words don’t belong together: lazy and cleaner, but sometimes, if I see a bobby pin, or a small paperclip, or an elastic, I just vacuum it up instead of picking it up and putting it away.

How To: Avoid the Hassle of Showering

by Rachel

My dry shampoo be working haaaaaaaard today. I’m talking ‘double overtime, deserves a raise and a stiff drink at the end of the day’ hard.

Hard.

image

Thanks cake.

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