The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Month: July, 2012

How To: Get Free Cake At A Restaurant

by Shannon

Telling people it’s your birthday is so 2011.

Tell them it’s your last day at work and receive free cake AND a sparkler!

How To: Appear Exceptionally Generous

by Shannon

Purchase a gift card for someone with a collection of money from a group of people.

The salesperson will think you’re a generous, kind-hearted squillionaire. Plus, you’ll get lots of Scene points on your credit card.

How To: Cower In The Awe Of Symbolism

by Shannon

On the last day of your job ask a stranger for help doing up your zipper because your roommate isn’t around.

Realize you had to do EXACTLY THE SAME THING on the first day of your job.

WHOA.

How To: Be Brave

by Shannon

You’re home alone for the night, and it’s 11:06.

You don’t have a choice, so you should probably put on your muscle shirt before you go to bed. You know, the one that makes you feel tough.

How To: Have A Delicious Dinner

by Shannon

Wait until your boyfriend is at an overnight conference. Buy everything you’ve ever wanted from Loblaws.

How To: Tell If Anti-Burn Cream Is Effective

by Shannon

Burn off all the hair on your arm while trying to light your Coleman stove.

How To: Have A Great Birthday

by Shannon

Someone posts a Carly Simon video on your Facebook wall, presents in bed, and a small, but still there, hangover.

How To: Feel Sad, But Also Like A Powerful Female

by Shannon

Sing along to Carly Simon.

How To: Spend Your Last Day Of Being 25

by Shannon

First off, get incredibly excited about the free Booster Juice you’ll receive tomorrow.

Regular size!

How To: Pretend You’re A Great Dancer

by Shannon

Imagine yourself dancing to Beyonce’s music videos.

Don’t actually dance.

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