The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Month: July, 2012

How To: Get Free Cake At A Restaurant

by Shannon

Telling people it’s your birthday is so 2011.

Tell them it’s your last day at work and receive free cake AND a sparkler!


How To: Appear Exceptionally Generous

by Shannon

Purchase a gift card for someone with a collection of money from a group of people.

The salesperson will think you’re a generous, kind-hearted squillionaire. Plus, you’ll get lots of Scene points on your credit card.

How To: Cower In The Awe Of Symbolism

by Shannon

On the last day of your job ask a stranger for help doing up your zipper because your roommate isn’t around.

Realize you had to do EXACTLY THE SAME THING on the first day of your job.


How To: Be Brave

by Shannon

You’re home alone for the night, and it’s 11:06.

You don’t have a choice, so you should probably put on your muscle shirt before you go to bed. You know, the one that makes you feel tough.

How To: Have A Delicious Dinner

by Shannon

Wait until your boyfriend is at an overnight conference. Buy everything you’ve ever wanted from Loblaws.

How To: Tell If Anti-Burn Cream Is Effective

by Shannon

Burn off all the hair on your arm while trying to light your Coleman stove.

How To: Have A Great Birthday

by Shannon

Someone posts a Carly Simon video on your Facebook wall, presents in bed, and a small, but still there, hangover.

How To: Feel Sad, But Also Like A Powerful Female

by Shannon

Sing along to Carly Simon.

How To: Spend Your Last Day Of Being 25

by Shannon

First off, get incredibly excited about the free Booster Juice you’ll receive tomorrow.

Regular size!

How To: Pretend You’re A Great Dancer

by Shannon

Imagine yourself dancing to Beyonce’s music videos.

Don’t actually dance.

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