The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Tag: Cooking

What’s Yo’ Beef #43

by Rachel

It’s beef day y’all!

Rachel

This guys, this is my beef. When the muffin cups stick to the muffin, are hard to get off and tear your muffin apart!

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Shannon

Well guys, today I’m moving! So while I love going through stuff and arriving at a new destination and having to buy new stuff, packing, unpacking, and cleaning all suck. They suck!

How To: Make Delicious Beer Bread

by Shannon

There are lots of cool perks to my job in the world of beer marketing, and one of them is finding out kick-ass recipes. Beer recipes.

One of the beer brands I work for, Samuel Adams, is really into food and beer, and all the cool stuff you can do with it. How food can make your beer taste even better, and how beer can (no surprise here) make your food taste better, and they bring out new flavours in each other. It’s pretty cool.

Anyway, a food blogger used Sam Adams to make a recipe the other day, and since it contained my favourite ingredients in the world, I decided to try it last night for Valentine’s Day. What ingredients, you ask? Oh, flour, beer, bacon, and cheese. Just all the most delicious ingredients known to mankind, no biggie.

Anyway, her recipe can be found here, but this is all you need to know:

Ingredients:
3 cups all purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
3 tablespoons granulated sugar
1 1/4 cup shredded cheese
500mls of beer (I didn’t have Sam Adams, so I used Hop City’s Barking Squirrel)
4 slices of bacon, cooked and chopped (I didn’t have bacon that was thawed, so I didn’t use any, and it was still all drool-worthy)
2 tablespoons butter, melted

Gastrofork has nice pictures and directions, but if you’re in a hurry, this is the gist:

  • Preheat your oven to 350
  • Add all the dry ingredients, mix them around, then add your cheese, beer, and if you have it, bacon
  • Mix it with a spoon
  • Throw it in a pan or whatever
  • Cook for 30 minutes, remove, add some butter across the top
  • Cook for another 30 minutes
  • Remove, cool, eat, eat more

Incredibly simple. Incredibly delicious. To beer!

The best things in life are free. Except beer, which usually costs around $0.0050 per mL.

How To: Get Rid Of Stale Bread

by Shannon

Dude, just make garlic bread with that shit!

Just cut up your delicious loaf of stale baguette, throw some butter on there, cover in cheese and garlic powder, stick it in the oven on broil, and go to town.

You won’t be sorry.

What’s Yo’ Beef #10

by Shannon

Well, well, well. It’s our 10th What’s Yo Beef post already! Let’s dig right in, shall we?

Shannon

My beef is pasta. Man, just pasta. It has everything going for it – it’s versatile, easy to make, quick to make, and just dirt cheap. So why does it have to be so shitty for you? And what the hell else am I supposed to make for lunch at work the next day other than just boiling up some pasta? Get healthy already, pasta! COME ON!

Rachel

What is the deal with people cancelling plans? Just keep the plans, man. Otherwise, you’ll have people insanely pissed at you because they have to find alternate people to attend your stuff, and it’s a real bitch. It’s a good thing that the event in question, if, of course, I was referring to a specific event, is Octoberfest in Waterloo, and it’s going to be such a blast that nothing could mar this wonderful, wonderful day. COME ON (and let’s go to Octoberfest)!

How To: Make Schnitzel (Kind Of)

by Shannon

The other night I was at my brother-in-law’s, and his German girlfriend made us schnitzel for dinner. I point out that she’s German because I feel, in a somewhat racisty sort of way I guess? that this makes her an expert on making schnitzel. It’s cool though, we’re friends.

It being 9:30 p.m. and having not yet had dinner after donating blood, my hungry husband decided that this was the perfect time for me to make it. Well wasn’t that nice of him.

This was my attempt:

Step One: Assemble all ingredients so it looks like I’m on a cooking show. It’s very impractical, but Ooh, look at my fancy spice jars that are old sauce jars! Aah, look at my eggs all pre-cracked! The chocolate milk wasn’t part of the recipe, I just really like chocolate milk and was thirsty. Bonus! It’s on sale at Metro for only $1.

Step Two: Shake out a bunch of bread crumbs onto a little plate, along with some parmesan and, I don’t know, oregano? The green spice in your cupboard will do nicely. Mix some eggs in a bowl. Drink some chocolate milk.

Step Three: Take your pork and cover it with the egg, then lay it on the crumb plate. Flip ‘er over and throw it in a pan with oil. Oh yeah, and put oil in a pan and heat it up.

Step Four: Just watch it cook, flip it, and eat it when it’s at that perfect, ‘tender-but-won’t-give-you-food-poisoning’ level.

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How To: Make A Delicious Meal

by Shannon

Add butter.

How To: Make Leftovers Delicious

by Shannon

1. Eat a potroast for dinner that was pretty good, but would have been really good if you weren’t so lazy and actually made gravy or something
2. Put like, 3/4 of it in the fridge because you don’t have time to eat it since you’re late for your bikini waxing appointment
3. Despair about how blagh it will taste for dinner the next night
4. Decide to buy Pillsbury Country Biscuits and make them
5. Fry up said blargh potroast in a frying pan
6. Put now crispy yum yum potroast on said Pillsbury biscuits
7. Add some old cheddar (the actual kind you buy, not the fridge that’s been in your fridge for months. Throw that shit out, man)
8. PROCEED TO CALL DINNER EASY PEASY YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS AND IT WILL BE THE BEST DINNER EVER

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