The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Month: July, 2013

How To: Make Pulled Pork

by Rachel

Because we talk about it a lot, and I think about it a lot…. And it’s easy as pulled pork.

Bunch of BBQ sauce + bunch of pork tenderloin + bunch of hours in the crock pot (8-10ish on low) = one of the greatest meals of all time. Don’t forget to pull the pork apart with a fork into delicious stringy bits, otherwise it’s just pork. Boring.

That’s all folks!

 

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How To: Feel Less Stressed

by Shannon

Just cancel all your plans. It feels amazing.

How To: Make Poor Travel Decisions

by Shannon

Start planning your international trip only three weeks out, and then realize that you didn’t book off nearly enough to do everything you wanted, because it’s Europe man, and there’s a lot of cool shit to see.

How To: Hike Up Your Water Bill

by Shannon

Spend about 45 minutes in the shower detangling┬ásome weird dreadlock that’s been growing in your hair that you had no idea about.

How To: Have The Best Birthday

by Shannon

Wait 27 years until it aligns perfectly with opening night of Beer Fest. Proceed to spend the entire weekend rocking out in the Moosehead tent, taking your picture with the Hop City Barking Squirrel, and drinking some sweet, sweet brews courtesy of Paulaner, Sam Adams, and Magners Cider.

Add a badass DJ, one sweet jivin’ bluegrass band, and subtract the hangover because you were smart and went back to the office where you had a Hogtown Smoke pulled pork grilled cheese waiting for you and you ate it on the streetcar because it’s your life and you’ll live it the way you want.

 

How To: Have A Great Theatre Experience

by Shannon

Just go see The To-Do List, because it’s really fantastic. Seriously, look at this cast list below. Every time someone came on the screen, I was all, Whoa, they’re sooooooo funny.

– Aubrey Plaza
– Donald Glover
– Bill Hader
– Christopher Mintz-Plasse
– Alia Shawkat (Maeby from Arrested Development. Come on!)
– Rachel Bilson
– Andy Samberg
– D.C. Pierson
– Dominic Dierkes (with Donald Glover and the guy above, the guys from Derrick Comedy. They are the best)

Awesome, awesome movie. It reminds me of the Snogging Scale lists that Rachel and I used to keep, and how we’d tally up our total scores to determine if we were being slutty or not. Don’t worry, we weren’t. We were just making up for lost time, because we were very responsible in high school.

Thanks She Does The City for hooking me up with some sweet, sweet tickets. And thanks God, for inventing movie theatre popcorn.

I’ve never met a woman in my life who would give up sex for lunch

How To: Find Your Future Wife

by Shannon

This post is for all the fella’s out there, so listen up.

As you may know, when you go to a wedding, one of the traditions is throwing the bouquet and/or garter. While I think this is just a tiny bit dumb (my bouquet was pinecones, and would have taken someone’s eye out), it can be fun to watch if you’re already married and don’t have to make an ass of yourself.

At a recent wedding I was at, all the dudes gathered together for the garter toss. One lad in particular was, how shall I say, awkwardly over-eager to catch the bouquet. No one else even looked like they were going for it, so it looked like he had it in the bag.

However, at the last second, one of the other guys pulled an Indiana Jones and slid underneath another dude and grabbed the garter right out of the first guy’s hands. It was very impressive. He had just stolen the first guy’s future wife! Problem solved.

Wondering what happened to the first guy? Well, he got real pissy and it was extra funny for the rest of us.

The lesson here, as it always is in life, is don’t be a baby.

The early bird gets the worm, but sometimes another bird steals that worm out of the first bird’s mouth, and it’s probably better than waking up early

How To: Thrift Shop – Clothing Edition

by Rachel

With clothes shopping at the thrift store, you don’t have as much of a risk getting too much crap like chotchkies. Clothes have to fit and still look good before buying them, which plenty of the clothes at thrift stores don’t. This does make it a bit trickier to find good stuff because you have to be patient and really dig deep sometimes. Here’s some things that help me out with clothes and accessory thrifting:

  • You gotta be in the mood. Wait until that day where you don’t have much to do and a whole bunch of time on your hands. When the phrase “I feel like thrift shopping” enters your head, then you know it’s time.
  • You MUST try things on. These clothes have been used and washed and dried many times… a 32 length might not be a 32 length anymore.
  • When looking at pants, check the area’s that are commonly worn out. Namely, the hems at the bottom, knee’s and between the thighs (ladies you know what I’m talking about).
  • Make sure zippers work/stay up/stay closed! Same with buttons.
  • For shirts, I go straight for the armpits.. nothing worse than pit stains that aren’t even yours!
  • Generally, in all pieces, look for pilling, thinning, rips, tears, and stains. If you are lucky, you might be able to get a stain out, but don’t always count on it.
  • For the love of Peter, Paul and Mary… stay away from the underwear! Ultimately it’s up to you, but that’s nasty!
  • If you find an amazing pair of pants where your butt looks good, but the length isn’t right, either get them hemmed if too long or roll them up for summer if they are too short. I have a short pair that I roll up and wear with heels or sandals in summer, or wear them only with high boots in the winter. They are one of my fave pairs!
  • Have an open mind… if there’s a sweet blazer, but it has huge shoulder pads, be willing to take them out and sew it back up. Ugly buttons can easily be replaced. Seemingly ugly skirts and dresses can be saved by a cool modern belt or cardigan. You just need a little imagination.
  • When you get home, wash your thrifty finds in hot water. After they are dried, smell them to make sure the thrift store smell is GONE! I tried wearing a dress from a thrift store that I had washed already, but kept getting thrift store whiffs… gross.
  • And ultimately, If it doesn’t fit, don’t buy it, even if it is only $2.99.

I meant what I said and I said what I meant

How To: Experience Real Disappointment

by Shannon

Ask someone where they got their sweater because you really like it and you’ve been looking for one just like it and you got up the nerve to ask them and everything, then hear them say, Oh, it’s last season. Joe Fresh, great price. They probably don’t make them anymore.”

How To: Fall Asleep

by Shannon

I don’t know. I didn’t do it last night.

Hashtag exhausted, man.

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