The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Tag: fatty

What’s Yo’ Beef #17

by Rachel

Finally it’s What’s Yo’ Beef Friday!

Rachel

My beef today is long ass weeks. For no particular reason, this week seems to be dragging on and on, and I didn’t even work that much! Friday has felt like it’s been a long time coming… But, the weekend isn’t here just yet. Just a little 5 hour break from work, then back for a 3pm appointment, THEN it’s the weekend, huzzah! Also, when the maple syrup cap sticks… COME ON!

Shannon

My beef today might literally be because of beef. Mostly, it’s about being a fatty. Now, I don’t mean in a self-pity, “I’ma put myself down so you can give me a compliment” kind of fatty. I mean like, I ate more pizza than I should have at lunch kind of fatty, and now I have to loosen my belt at the office and hope that nobody calls me about it.

And now I’m going to have more pizza, because I’m comfortable with myself. And my belt size.

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How To: Feel Like A Million Pounds

by Shannon

Feel incredibly sick all day and subsist on only Premium Plus crackers and water, but force yourself to go to dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory because it’s the last time you’ll see some friends before they pop out another human being.

Have a great time, and of course you’ll have another beer just because everyone else is having one too.

Proceed to feel as insanely huge as your 9 months pregnant friend is. Mission accomplished, fatty.

How To: Really Gauge That You’re Out Of Shape

by Shannon

You’d like a sip of your wine but then you’d have to get up and reach for it instead of lying prostrate on your couch.

How To: Feel Trashy At Work

by Shannon

You can’t button your pants all day because your stomach sunburn won’t allow it. You can’t technically zipper them either, but that’s probably just because you ate McDonald’s last night.

How To: Feel Comfortable With Your Body

by Shannon

You were planning on working out at the gym tonight, but you had a headache instead. It just wasn’t meant to be.

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