Oh God, can someone please tell me? Pretty sure I’m having like, six of them right now.
The day before you’re supposed to head to Cuba, you wake up with a weird eye infection thingy. Hurray!
Wipe down your machine afterwards. Otherwise, everyone will hate your guts, and say, “Dick” after you leave, but under their breath, just in case you can kind of still hear them.
Try and book an all-inclusive vacation online for multiple people.
I guess just look really fat when you meet people, because the next time you meet them and you’re all normal, they’ll tell you lost a tonne of weight, and your self-confidence will soar.
You were planning on working out at the gym tonight, but you had a headache instead. It just wasn’t meant to be.
It’s easy! Just ________________________.
(Please fill in the blank, because I have no idea.)
First, tell your landlord that you nearly passed out taking back empty wine bottles to the Beer Store. When he questions if it’s because you’re pregnant, become extremely worried, but brush it off.
Later, realize that a more likely reason is because you donated blood yesterday and are supposed to avoid heavy lifting, heat, and the beer you had last night with dinner.
That’s probably the real reason. Probably.
The Average Girl's "How To" Guide 