The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Tag: Baking

What’s Yo’ Beef #43

by Rachel

It’s beef day y’all!

Rachel

This guys, this is my beef. When the muffin cups stick to the muffin, are hard to get off and tear your muffin apart!

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Shannon

Well guys, today I’m moving! So while I love going through stuff and arriving at a new destination and having to buy new stuff, packing, unpacking, and cleaning all suck. They suck!

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How To: Make Healthy Cookies

by Rachel

I have this unbelievably delicious monster cookie recipe… But there is sooo much sugar! I am always trying to figure out a way to lessen sugar content and make things healthier in my baking and I have actually successfully done it… I know this because my husband eats them and doesn’t complain.
The original recipe called for the following:

1/2 C. Butter
1C EACH white and brown sugar
3 eggs
1.5 C. Of peanut butter
4.5 C. Large Flake Oats
2 tsp. Baking soda
1 tsp. Vanilla extract
1 C. Smarties
1/2 C. Each chocolate chips and peanuts.

Now, substitute:
1/2 C. Coconut oil for butter
2 C. Dates (chopped and soaked in boiling water, then mashed up)
Toss the smarties and just do more semi sweet chocolate chip or try seeds and raisins (but I’m not hard core)
And you could even use almond or another nut butter if you really wanted to up the health factor.

I would recommend baking them in muffin cups because they tend to be crumbly (even the original version). Bake at 350 degrees for about 10 minutes and you get this:

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Delicious AND healthy!

Where you finds cookies you find smiles

How To: Ruin Your Baking

by Rachel

Try to make your baked goods ‘healthy’.

Try to substitute things that you have no idea if they are substitutable or not.

Also, don’t measure stuff all the time.

Try to make regular recipes refined sugar free or gluten free.

Do these things, and you will end up with super gross gooey baking, or baking that’s so dry it sucks all the saliva out of your mouth. Luckily, it’s not a complete waste. If you have a husband, he will probably eat it all up anyways.

 

Good things come to those who bake

How To: Make Schnitzel (Kind Of)

by Shannon

The other night I was at my brother-in-law’s, and his German girlfriend made us schnitzel for dinner. I point out that she’s German because I feel, in a somewhat racisty sort of way I guess? that this makes her an expert on making schnitzel. It’s cool though, we’re friends.

It being 9:30 p.m. and having not yet had dinner after donating blood, my hungry husband decided that this was the perfect time for me to make it. Well wasn’t that nice of him.

This was my attempt:

Step One: Assemble all ingredients so it looks like I’m on a cooking show. It’s very impractical, but Ooh, look at my fancy spice jars that are old sauce jars! Aah, look at my eggs all pre-cracked! The chocolate milk wasn’t part of the recipe, I just really like chocolate milk and was thirsty. Bonus! It’s on sale at Metro for only $1.

Step Two: Shake out a bunch of bread crumbs onto a little plate, along with some parmesan and, I don’t know, oregano? The green spice in your cupboard will do nicely. Mix some eggs in a bowl. Drink some chocolate milk.

Step Three: Take your pork and cover it with the egg, then lay it on the crumb plate. Flip ‘er over and throw it in a pan with oil. Oh yeah, and put oil in a pan and heat it up.

Step Four: Just watch it cook, flip it, and eat it when it’s at that perfect, ‘tender-but-won’t-give-you-food-poisoning’ level.

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How To: Make Leftovers Delicious

by Shannon

1. Eat a potroast for dinner that was pretty good, but would have been really good if you weren’t so lazy and actually made gravy or something
2. Put like, 3/4 of it in the fridge because you don’t have time to eat it since you’re late for your bikini waxing appointment
3. Despair about how blagh it will taste for dinner the next night
4. Decide to buy Pillsbury Country Biscuits and make them
5. Fry up said blargh potroast in a frying pan
6. Put now crispy yum yum potroast on said Pillsbury biscuits
7. Add some old cheddar (the actual kind you buy, not the fridge that’s been in your fridge for months. Throw that shit out, man)
8. PROCEED TO CALL DINNER EASY PEASY YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS AND IT WILL BE THE BEST DINNER EVER

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