How To: Feel Like A Million Pounds

by Shannon

Feel incredibly sick all day and subsist on only Premium Plus crackers and water, but force yourself to go to dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory because it’s the last time you’ll see some friends before they pop out another human being.

Have a great time, and of course you’ll have another beer just because everyone else is having one too.

Proceed to feel as insanely huge as your 9 months pregnant friend is. Mission accomplished, fatty.

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