The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Tag: What’s Yo’ Beef

What’s Yo’ Beef #24

by Rachel

Rachel

Its Friday, and this week I have had this unexplained feeling of uneasiness. I have no idea what it is! Its like the feeling you get if you’ve done something wrong and are feeling bad about it (which I did not!), or like something bad is going to happen. It’s the worst!

Shannon

Hm. Today is Valentine’s Day, and also my engageversary, and I had a pretty great lunch, so I’m not feeling super beefy today.

A small beef, but an ongoing one for me, is getting up to get stuff. I sit at a desk all day for work, so I know it’s healthier for me to get up and move around and stuff, but sometimes I just don’t feel like getting up to go to the bathroom, or get more water, or get something from the printer, you know? I wish I could just teleport somewhere sometimes. Teleportation, where are you?!

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What’s Yo’ Beef #23

by Shannon

Shannon

Today’s beef is brought to you by metabolism. Basically, I just wish I could eat a lot more and not turn into a fatty. I’m surprised that with evolution and science (BFFs), we haven’t figured something out where we can just eat as much delicious food as we want, not have to exercise, and still look like superstars. I know some people actually like exercising, and I’m a big fan of playing sports, but man, that’s for fun, not for fitness. Slaving away on an eliptical because I happened to eat six brownies does not a fun time make. And so, lack of a super metabolism, you, my non-friend, are my beef.

Rachel
Heyo! I hear that metabolism beef loud and clear… But my beef today is when mice come into your house, uninvited, eat your aloe, lip balm and apples, but when you put a nice chunk of cheese in a trap they aren’t interested. Do mice even like cheese, anymore than say, lip balm? Is it a proven fact or are we getting our information from Saturday morning cartoons? Or, do I just have a hyper intelligent mouse who knows it’s a trap, because they have never changed in a hundred years… COME ON!

What’s Yo’ Beef #22

by Rachel

Rachel
Beeeeeeef!
I really hate when people don’t stay on top of shoveling their sidewalk section. We are all in this winter thing together… Let’s work on making it a little more enjoyable for one another. COME ON!
Oh and because I just literally found it, when you drop a chocolate covered raisin in the movie theater and it’s so dark you can’t find it, then it melts all over your pants. Serious inconvenience.

Shannon
As I sit here typing, having only just finished my work for the evening (yes, it is 10:40 on a Friday night), I’m tempted to say my beef is a crazy work schedule. But, instead, I’m going to go with computers freezing. My work laptop, a few times each day, will just suddenly have programs freeze up entirely, for about a minute. I realize a minute isn’t a long time, but man, I live in a world of now! A minute is detrimental, and really annoying. Get your shit together, computers.

What’s Yo’ Beef #20

by Rachel

Rachel

We took a few weeks off, I would like to say because we were beefless…. Well, actually, I was beefless because I was on a trip to England and it was amazing! My only beef is that I didn’t start traveling abroad sooner. Seriously, what have I been doing with my life? COME ON!

Shannon

Well, my first beef I guess is straight up that I was working, not traveling, these past few weeks… but mainly my beef today is time. Man, there is just not enough of it. I know, I know, I have the same number of hours in a day as Beyonce, but if that’s the case, then how come I can’t get my shit together? Come on!

What’s Yo’ Beef #19

by Rachel

Rachel

Well, its been almost 5 months of beef, and although I do have some minor beefs this week (people who don’t shovel their sidewalks… COME ON) it’s the holiday season and I am feeling pretty good. So I thought it’s  time for an anti-beef post. What are you happy about today? This week? This year?
My anti-beefs are being done with Christmas prep so I can enjoy the days leading up to Christmas, the fact that I am going to be in one of the most famous cities in the world for New Year’s Eve, and when your fashion choices are confirmed by experts on Cityline. I could go on, but these are the ones that inspired this post.

Shannon

Well isn’t this just a feel good kind of post. Personally, I’m still totally on board for beefs (when your mittens get a hole in them and you’re just too lazy to sew it up, having a drink be just out of reach so you have to move to get it), but I’ll get on board with this, because afterall, Santa’s watching.

I guess my anti-beef today would be meeting new people. Isn’t it the best? Just connecting with strangers, or with people you don’t know super well, like work acquaintances. The past couple of days I’ve been travelling to Western Canada for work, and I’ve got to hang out with some of our sales guys out here. And man, they are the coolest. I think it’s a great reminder that there are a shit tonne of people in the world, and it’s really fun to meet them all.

How To: Play Holiday Kings

by Rachel

Rachel and I co-hosted a holiday party in Toronto this past weekend, and it was pretty kick-ass. In addition to an awesome dreidle-pinata, a James Ready chug-off every half-hour, and being bombarded with a What’s Yo Beef board, advent calendar, and name-drop immediately upon entry, we made up this amazing version of Kings. Let’s just say, it was a hit.

A: Everybody drinks. Because it’s Christmas.
2: For Jews. Don’t worry if you think we’re being all racist, just wait until #4 and relax.
3: Treat Yo’self to 3 drinks.
4: For Goys. See? Now, just take a deep breath, and remember that we’re good people and we love everyone, not matter if they pray to God, G-d, or Keanu Reeves.
5: Give the gift of 5 drinks. Assign other players 5 drinks… You can give all five to one person, one to five different people and everything in between. Don’t forget to sing this like you’re singing the 12 Days of Christmas’ “5 Golden Rings” line.
6: Pretend to eat another player’s leg like it’s a turkey drumstick. Take a drink to wash it down.
7: Point to the North Pole! This is essentially Thumbmaster, where the person who gets this card can point to the North Pole whenever they want, and everyone has to follow suit. The last person has to drink.
8: 8 crazy nights – give 8 drinks.
9: Talk like Santa. This is way funnier than you think. Take a drink.
10: Sit on someone’s lap like Santa and tell them what you wish for. ‘Santa’ takes a drink.
J: Pretend you are opening a present that you don’t like. Take a drink.
Q: Santa Baby seduction: choose someone to sing Santa baby while you lip sync and dance for another player. Both players take a drink.
K: Wears the Santa Beard! Make or buy a white beard and whoever picks a King wears it until the next person picks a King. Take a drink.

What’s Yo’ Beef #18

by Rachel

Rachel

It’s been a “beef with everything” kind of week. MasterCard, online bookings, trip anxiety, snow, hating my job… And then I ran out of tape when I started wrapping gifts yesterday. COME ON!

Shannon

Dude, your beef just sounds brutal. The important thing to remember is that tonight, we’re hosting the most bomb-ass party ever. So really, my only beef this week is having to sit through a work day when I’m JUST SO PUMPED FOR TONIGHT. Like, listening to Styx all day and Miley Cyrus “We Can’t Stop” on one-hour repeat pumped.

What’s Yo’ Beef #14

by Shannon

Shannon

Guys, first off, let me just say how much I’m really enjoying getting all these beefs off my back. I feel like I’m living pretty close to the edge of full-blown freak outs, like, all the time, so I really think this has been an effective coping mechanism for my life.

Back to my beef. This week’s beef is dedicated to physical activity. I joined a (flag) football league with my work, and man, I’m just dying. I can’t lift my legs, I feel like 400 pounds, and my entire body aches. Come on, Body, I’m trying to do something awesome for you! The least you could do is not respond like I’m punishing you. Can’t we help each other out here? The second-day-after body aches after working out, I say to you: suck it.

Rachel

I have a bit of an observational beef today. Its nothing that outwardly bothers me, or frustrates me, or affects me physically, just something I see that gives me a weird feeling. I don’t mean to offend anyone, but what’s the deal with men driving minivans? I see it, and it just looks so unnatural to me and slightly emasculating. It might be because I don’t like minivans to begin with, or that I hang out with a lot of manly men who own large trucks… Probably both. But man, convenience aside, it just weirds me out.

What’s Yo’ Beef #13

by Rachel

Rachel

Well friends, winter seems to be upon us. You might be thinking my beef on this snowy Friday is about the weather, but it’s just a weather related beef about me. I  am a late person… Actually no, not a late person but an exactly on time person, which doesn’t leave a lot of leeway for unexpected holdups on the way to work. Because of this, my beef for today is that first snow fall where you totally forget to take into account the time it takes to brush the snow off your car and then you walk into work late. Damn.

Shannon

With Halloween being so recently behind us, and my costume so totally kick-ass (I went as a sea lion, complete with a gemstone bikini top and a fur diaper, because of course), my beef today is about wigs. No, not not wearing them, of course (idiot), but how I can’t wear them more often. I love wigs! Why can’t I wear my blue shiny one to work? Sure, not when partners are around, but maybe just on Friday’s? Because you know what, they make me feel super good.

What’s Yo’ Beef, #11

by Rachel

Rachel

My beef today is about people who snore. It might be the most annoying sound in my world. Even if I’m not trying to sleep and someone is snoring near me I want to rip out my earballs. I feel terrible because obviously they aren’t out to annoy me and can’t help it… Buy my goodness. It is partially my fault. If we go back a beef or two I talked about staying up too late. My husband gets to bed before me and by the time I’m ready he is soundly snoring away, whereas if I went to bed early like him I can get to sleep before it starts and stay asleep. But still, snoring, COME ON!

Shannon

Beefs. Everyone’s got ’em. Today, mine is indecisiveness, and for the first time in awhile, this beef is about me, not other people.

Usually I’m pretty good at just making my decisions and sticking with them, but this past weekend has just been a mess in that regard. My husband is going to Kingston, where we went to university, to celebrate Halloween with a friend we have doing his Ph.D there. I was originally planning on going, until I realized that this would make an entire month of not being home on the weekends, and I just caved and opted to stay home and work and sleep instead. But then he started going on about this party, and it sounded great, and I’ve just flip-flopped about 30 times. It’s brutal.

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