The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Tag: Stress

How To: Solve The Mystery Of Why Women Live Longer Than Men

by Shannon

Dear Science,
I wanted to send a quick note to let you know that I have solved the mystery of why women live longer than men. I would like you to read this post, an excerpt from my very favourite book/bible (How To Be A Woman, by Caitlin Moran, available on Amazon), and then realize the incredible amount of stress that we women deal with each and every day, being attacked by our own brains as if they were Gremlins and fed after midnight. It is this incredible exposure to psycho-stress that we face daily that has built up an outstanding resistance to most causes of death. For those of you scientists suggesting that men begin self-analyzing to this extent in order to join us in our octogenarian days, I would immediately ask that you stop, because otherwise I will never get to live out my Golden Girls fantasy (I’m Dorothy, obviously), and I am really looking forward to it.
Yours in science,

How To: Let Your Parents Make Your Day

by Shannon

Step One: While you’re majorly stressing your bones out at work, have your mom call you with the important news that the chocolate companies are on the tail end of a class-action lawsuit for unfairly raising chocolate bar prices, and if you go to a certain website and vouch that you spent at least $1,000 on chocolate between the years of 2005 – 2012, they will send you $50.

Step Two: Follow step one by posting something on Facebook about how parents don’t know what their kids jobs really are. Proceed to wait 30 seconds until your dad posts something about kids never want to talk to their parents when they come from school and only want to talk on the phone to their friends, then they go out and don’t tell their parents who with.

Step Three: Comment on how your Dad really ran with that one. Wait 10 seconds until he comments about a Beatles picture he bought online that arrived that day.

And there you have it. Your parents have inadvertently made you realise that your stressy-outty job is just small bananas compared to the wonderfulness that is their life. Go ahead, let that smile light up your face.

Parents. Am I right?

How To: Feel Less Stressed

by Shannon

Just cancel all your plans. It feels amazing.

How To: Give To Others

by Shannon

Donate blood. It doesn’t cost you any money, you get free snacks, they check your blood pressure for you to make sure your job isn’t as stressful as you think it is and giving you heart issues, and oh yeah, you help save lives.

A man who is good enough to shed blood for his country, is good enough to receive some Bits N’ Bites afterwards

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