The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Tag: Schnitzel

How To: Throw a Nation Themed Party – Germany Edition

by Rachel

I live in Kitchener/Waterloo where October is a very special month… It’s not thanksgiving or Hallowe’en, or moose hunting or harvest, but Oktoberfest!!

There is no better time to throw a German themed party than this time of year.

So, so obvious. BEER! The only stipulation is that it be German… Becks, Krombacher, Paulaner, Lowenbrau… I bought a different German beer for each guest to toast to Germany. It’s also fun to have beer steins to drink out. Very German.

Although I didn’t serve this stuff for convenience sake, some delicious options are weiner schnitzel, bratwurst, sauerkraut, red cabbage, black forest cake, streudel… We did have soft pretzels though!

DRINK! That’s it, just drink. But I also had some funny German translation books and a dictionary so people could brush up their German. You could always carve a cuckoo clock or do a Polka for real authenticity…

Easy! As per any nation themed party, flags are a must and I made some place cards for each person with a phrase and translations on it. As well a Wilkommen Freundin sign on the mirror.

I prefer Polka music and German Beer Drinking songs… But I hear Germans are great at techno and heavy metal.

Dirndl’s, lederhosen, Birkenstocks, and Alpine Bavarian Hats (with a feather of course). You can get creative with these things and with accessories. I painted my nails like German flags!

Going to Oktoberfest and drinking is definitely enough for an awesome party, but adding these extras might be able to help you remember it a little better the next day.

Es wird gefeiert! (It’s party time!)

How To: Make Schnitzel (Kind Of)

by Shannon

The other night I was at my brother-in-law’s, and his German girlfriend made us schnitzel for dinner. I point out that she’s German because I feel, in a somewhat racisty sort of way I guess? that this makes her an expert on making schnitzel. It’s cool though, we’re friends.

It being 9:30 p.m. and having not yet had dinner after donating blood, my hungry husband decided that this was the perfect time for me to make it. Well wasn’t that nice of him.

This was my attempt:

Step One: Assemble all ingredients so it looks like I’m on a cooking show. It’s very impractical, but Ooh, look at my fancy spice jars that are old sauce jars! Aah, look at my eggs all pre-cracked! The chocolate milk wasn’t part of the recipe, I just really like chocolate milk and was thirsty. Bonus! It’s on sale at Metro for only $1.

Step Two: Shake out a bunch of bread crumbs onto a little plate, along with some parmesan and, I don’t know, oregano? The green spice in your cupboard will do nicely. Mix some eggs in a bowl. Drink some chocolate milk.

Step Three: Take your pork and cover it with the egg, then lay it on the crumb plate. Flip ‘er over and throw it in a pan with oil. Oh yeah, and put oil in a pan and heat it up.

Step Four: Just watch it cook, flip it, and eat it when it’s at that perfect, ‘tender-but-won’t-give-you-food-poisoning’ level.

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