The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Tag: Pain

How To: Realize How Pathetic You Are

by Shannon

Be unable to run an entire week after playing sports. Seriously, how out of shape are you, Body? A two-step sprint has rendered you utterly useless and embarrassed.

The only solution? A nice pint of Sam Adams before bed to drown your sorrows in.


How To: Become A Contortionist

by Shannon

Be amazed at how your lower body can writhe in never-before-seen ways, as your dentist continues to drill at your teeth.

How To: Deal With Pain

by Shannon

Step away from the speakers at the concert you’re at.

How To: Feel Like A Professional Woman

by Shannon

Wear heels to work that are a little bit too high for you. Regret it immediately. Say, Screw it, I’m not going back to change, I’m already half a block away.

Now, you’re a professional woman.*

*P.S. No comments about how sexist/inaccurate/anti-feminist this is, please. I know already. My feet hurt, and I can’t take any additional pain.

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