The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Tag: Empties

How To: Publicly Thank Your BFF

by Shannon

Thank you, Rachel, for letting Liam and I borrow your car yesterday. Our empties pile is now at a reasonable level that does not make us look like the alcoholics we probably are.

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How To: Determine If You’re Pregnant

by Shannon

First, tell your landlord that you nearly passed out taking back empty wine bottles to the Beer Store. When he questions if it’s because you’re pregnant, become extremely worried, but brush it off.

Later, realize that a more likely reason is because you donated blood yesterday and are supposed to avoid heavy lifting, heat, and the beer you had last night with dinner.

That’s probably the real reason. Probably.

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