The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Tag: beer

How To: Have The Best Birthday

by Shannon

Wait 27 years until it aligns perfectly with opening night of Beer Fest. Proceed to spend the entire weekend rocking out in the Moosehead tent, taking your picture with the Hop City Barking Squirrel, and drinking some sweet, sweet brews courtesy of Paulaner, Sam Adams, and Magners Cider.

Add a badass DJ, one sweet jivin’ bluegrass band, and subtract the hangover because you were smart and went back to the office where you had a Hogtown Smoke pulled pork grilled cheese waiting for you and you ate it on the streetcar because it’s your life and you’ll live it the way you want.

 

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How To: Really Impress Your Husband

by Shannon

For Valentine’s Day, shun flowers and teddy bears. Instead, offer to create a beer pairings dinner. Not only will he love you more than he ever has before, but you can get just a little bit weekday drunk in a totally acceptable way.

How To: Feel Like A Martyr

by Shannon

It’s tough job, getting paid to taste-test beer all afternoon. It makes you sleepy as as Hell.

How To: Be An Hour Late For Work

by Shannon

Oh, I don’t know, have a ton of beer the night before and then travel by public transit.

How To: Determine If You’re Pregnant

by Shannon

First, tell your landlord that you nearly passed out taking back empty wine bottles to the Beer Store. When he questions if it’s because you’re pregnant, become extremely worried, but brush it off.

Later, realize that a more likely reason is because you donated blood yesterday and are supposed to avoid heavy lifting, heat, and the beer you had last night with dinner.

That’s probably the real reason. Probably.

How To: Impress People

by Shannon

Have a beer, and just start talking.

Works every time!

How To: Have Fun

by Shannon

Go out for a beer after work.

Or four.

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