The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Category: Being “Healthy”

How To: Make Your Day Infinitely Better

by Shannon

Dude, chocolate chip cookies.

Plus, I found a Twoonie under my desk today!

How To: Realize How Pathetic You Are

by Shannon

Be unable to run an entire week after playing sports. Seriously, how out of shape are you, Body? A two-step sprint has rendered you utterly useless and embarrassed.

The only solution? A nice pint of Sam Adams before bed to drown your sorrows in.

How To: Feel Like A Million Pounds

by Shannon

Feel incredibly sick all day and subsist on only Premium Plus crackers and water, but force yourself to go to dinner at the Old Spaghetti Factory because it’s the last time you’ll see some friends before they pop out another human being.

Have a great time, and of course you’ll have another beer just because everyone else is having one too.

Proceed to feel as insanely huge as your 9 months pregnant friend is. Mission accomplished, fatty.

How To: Have A Lovely Weekend

by Shannon

I hate to say it, but for this week’s post, step one is having your husband go away for the weekend, like on an annual sports trip with his Dad, or moose hunting or something.

Then, hang out with friends Friday night – maybe at a special Shabbat Shalom Birthday Dinner? Make sure you ask them to print out the Kiddish words, so you can sing along. It’s really fun, educational, and challah bread is so damn delicious.

Proceed to do some cleaning on Saturday, watch the end of Girls, season two, go shopping and buy some stuff, and then make yourself a fabulous dinner and have all the snacks you want.

Have a wonderful sleep with all the blankets because there’s no one telling you the comforter makes him “too hot” in September, and sleep with all the blinds open to take advantage of your amazing Toronto view and glass walls, because it won’t wake you up, because you have your eye mask on that you have to sleep with because your optometrist says you sleep with your eyes a little bit open and dust and shit fly in there at night. When you wake up, it will be glorious.

Sure, you have to do work the next day, but just work it baby, work it. You deserve this special, special weekend.

How To: Carb Load!

by Rachel

Yes! Finally a a great excuse to eat soooo much bread and pasta… and cookies… I hope.

I have an 8 hour relay bike race this weekend. I have done a few and ALWAYS feel so tired after just two laps. This time, I am aiming for 3, totalling 30km, and this time, I am making a conscious effort to eat a lot of carbs leading up to the race.

So, why carb load? Because your body can only store enough glycogen/energy for 90 minutes of exercise (which happens to be about 2 laps of this bike race, and when I get tired). There are sports drinks and gels (gross) that can give you a temporary spike in energy, but the best approach is to carb load 3 days before an event to maximize energy.

How many carbs should I eat? You’ll have to do the math on this one. On an average day a person would eat 5-7g/kg of body weight. On a carb loading day, up it to 8-10g/kg of body weight.

What to eat you ask? For meals, eat a lot of whole grains; bread with peanut butter, oatmeal, whole wheat pasta, chicken and brown rice. For a snack, think a bit simpler; bread and honey, energy bars, and rice cakes with jam. The sugary bits gives the quick boost you might need during the race or between laps. Add protein to your meals in order to slow the digestion of carbs. This makes them last longer, which is good for endurance type events.

Here is where I got my information, and you can learn more,

Carb Loading!

I want to eat carbs without wanting to kill myself! -The Holiday

How To: Just Know It’s Going To Be A Good Day

by Shannon

Make hot chocolate this morning because you ran out of tea and have already decided it’s a no pants kind of Sunday so you’re not going out to get some, then watch as suddenly, suddenly, two little marshmallows float to the top, even though you thought this was just regular, non-marshmallow hot chocolate.

Today is a good day.

Saw the lights of the Goodyear Blimp, and it read: Ice Cube’s a Pimp

How To: Survive A Four-Day Hangover

by Shannon

Just rotate between shovelling Tylenol, lobster, and more beer down your throat, and let the Gods work their magic.

Laughter is the best medicine, especially when it tastes like bananas.

How To: Ruin Your Baking

by Rachel

Try to make your baked goods ‘healthy’.

Try to substitute things that you have no idea if they are substitutable or not.

Also, don’t measure stuff all the time.

Try to make regular recipes refined sugar free or gluten free.

Do these things, and you will end up with super gross gooey baking, or baking that’s so dry it sucks all the saliva out of your mouth. Luckily, it’s not a complete waste. If you have a husband, he will probably eat it all up anyways.

 

Good things come to those who bake

How To: Count Yourself Lucky

by Shannon

You got to Loblaw’s to get boring groceries, and 1L’s of chocolate milk are on sale.

How To: Turn Into Your Parents

by Shannon

Find yourself in bed before 10 p.m. on a Friday (a Friday!), and up before 8 a.m. the next morning. What the dude?

%d bloggers like this: