The Average Girl's "How To" Guide

Advice on how to live a well-balanced lifestyle

Category: Being Dumb

How To: Ruin Clothes

by Rachel

I am an inexperienced expert  at this guys. Just take scissors to any piece of clothing in hopes of making it better, and it will probably get worse! Cut your jorts too short, cut off sleeves with too big of arm holes, and take scissors to a chiffon skirt, and I guarantee you, you will never wear that piece of clothing again.

Save your scissors… For crafts and cutting and pasting, because you will probably ruin your clothes.

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How To: Go Back To Being 16

by Shannon

Just give a good old solid listen to those songs that got you through some mad heartbreak.

Might I suggest Jimmy Eat World’s ‘Work’?

BRB, g2g bawl my eyes out.

How To: Reuse a Prematurely Ruined Shirt

by Rachel

Today, while playing an intense game of air hockey, I ripped a big ol’ hole in a perfectly good shirt.
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I hadn’t worn it in awhile and was realizing I still really liked it. Bummer.
However, I did just recently buy a giant embroidery hoop for a dollar and have been waiting for the perfect fabric to make some wall art. So I did, in about 5 minutes.
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And if I get bored of it, I can switch it the next time I wreck a shirt I really like.

How To: Ruin Your Light Coloured Clothes

by Rachel

Order red wine at a bar. Because you NEVER get jostled and spill shit on yourself at a bar….

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This might as well be a beef.

How To: Pull An All Nighter

by Shannon

Make a weird mistake that’s more just shitty timing than anything, but end up combining an inside joke with one person, with proclaiming just exactly how weird you are in your blog post.

Trust me, you’ll be up all night thinking about what a knob you are.

What’s Yo’ Beef #29

by Rachel

Rachel

No worries about missing beef day Shannon… Trust me, I forget stuff too, in fact it’s part of my beef today.
This week’s beef is the culmination of months of mistakes, and effects of said mistakes, therefore feeling like a giant idiot.
Example 1: My cell phone bill was double the fee this month, and I said ‘whaaaaat? I definitely paid that last month’…. Turns out I still had my old cell phone provider on my list of payees for online banking. I paid them by accident, which resulted in calling and explaining and making me feel like an #idiot.
Example 2: Although a simple mistake to make, I screwed up my income on my taxes for 5 whole months. How do you go 5 months not catching a mistake? #idiot.
Example 3: I have to send an invoice to my boss in order to get paid. Today was payday… But not for me! I had an email reminder from my boss, actually completed the invoice, but somehow, forgot to send it. #idiot.
All of these realizations came to me this week. COME ON!

Shannon

I did want to make my beef today about shitty technology, and how my computer hasn’t let me on WordPress for like, the entire week, but I’ve decided I’m bigger than that.

I’ve had a pretty good week actually, so relatively low beefs on this end, but there is one thing that’s totally been getting my griddle fired up, and that’s grown-up hangovers.

I have a pretty high alcohol tolerance, thanks in part to years of training with Queen’s Players, and the fact that I work for a beer company. It’s something I’m pretty proud of, and I can definitely hold my own against people who are a foot taller and 100 pounds heavier.

But man, do I ever pay for it these days. Last night Liam and I had dinner out, where I had one beer, then we moved to a friend’s house (where I played Grand Theft Auto for the first time – what have I been missing?!), where I had one cider, and half of a beer. And I feel slightly hungover! My skin has that not-fresh feeling, my head is just sliiightly throbbing, and all I want is tomato soup (though that’s also just a regular day for me). What the dude! Grown-up hangovers man, they suck.

How To: Make Your Coffee Filter Fit Perfectly

by Rachel

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This is it.

I’m not sure if I should be embarrassed because everyone knew this, or proud because if people are like me and don’t think they need to read the coffee filter box, I’ve just opened a lot of eyes. Thanks Melitta.

Melitta, Coffee Indulgence… I’ll Say!

How To: Almost Cry On The Streetcar

by Shannon

You’re all comfy cozy on the TTC, and just opening your Kobo when you see that you forgot to renew your Game of Thrones book from the library. Now you have nothing to read, and you have to wait until you get home and check-it out again to find out what happened to Jon Snow.

A smart girl always renews her books

How To: Start An Etsy Store

by Shannon

For once in my sorry blogging experience, this is an actual “how to.”

Starting an Etsy store – and if you’re not familiar with Etsy, stop reading this and just click the link already – is pretty easy.

I started my own store last night – Mulligan’s Curiosities – where I’m selling some vintage-y items I’ve picked up at garage sales, thrift stores, have had handed down to me. I basically have too much stuff for our 630 square foot condo, and am trying to make good use of them.

Quite rare!

Quite rare!

These busts are bigger than mine.

These busts are bigger than mine.

The site has a pretty easy walk-through of everything, which is nice. At no point did I need to Google further directions, you just follow the steps and go to town. Write your descriptions, upload your super hipster, white background, high contrast photos, add your pricing, and away you go.

I super hope my items sell, both because it’s fun to make money that I can then spend on other things, like Rachel and I’s trip to New York, or to be honest, more vintage finds, but also because I like doing other stuff. I’m forever starting projects (and occasionally finishing them) because I always like to have something on the go, and I have very little patience to wait and see if it’s actually an idea.

So basically, I’m just hoping this doesn’t somehow blow up in my face.

How To: Have A Shit Day

by Shannon

You’re heading back to the office at 9 p.m. and you realize you forgot to put a bra on.

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