How To: Play Holiday Kings

by Rachel

Rachel and I co-hosted a holiday party in Toronto this past weekend, and it was pretty kick-ass. In addition to an awesome dreidle-pinata, a James Ready chug-off every half-hour, and being bombarded with a What’s Yo Beef board, advent calendar, and name-drop immediately upon entry, we made up this amazing version of Kings. Let’s just say, it was a hit.

A: Everybody drinks. Because it’s Christmas.
2: For Jews. Don’t worry if you think we’re being all racist, just wait until #4 and relax.
3: Treat Yo’self to 3 drinks.
4: For Goys. See? Now, just take a deep breath, and remember that we’re good people and we love everyone, not matter if they pray to God, G-d, or Keanu Reeves.
5: Give the gift of 5 drinks. Assign other players 5 drinks… You can give all five to one person, one to five different people and everything in between. Don’t forget to sing this like you’re singing the 12 Days of Christmas’ “5 Golden Rings” line.
6: Pretend to eat another player’s leg like it’s a turkey drumstick. Take a drink to wash it down.
7: Point to the North Pole! This is essentially Thumbmaster, where the person who gets this card can point to the North Pole whenever they want, and everyone has to follow suit. The last person has to drink.
8: 8 crazy nights – give 8 drinks.
9: Talk like Santa. This is way funnier than you think. Take a drink.
10: Sit on someone’s lap like Santa and tell them what you wish for. ‘Santa’ takes a drink.
J: Pretend you are opening a present that you don’t like. Take a drink.
Q: Santa Baby seduction: choose someone to sing Santa baby while you lip sync and dance for another player. Both players take a drink.
K: Wears the Santa Beard! Make or buy a white beard and whoever picks a King wears it until the next person picks a King. Take a drink.

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